How to Win Friends and Influence People
How to Win Friends and Influence People |
|
Author(s) |
Dale Carnegie |
Country |
United States of America |
Language |
English |
Genre(s) |
Self-help |
Publisher |
Simon and Schuster (1936) |
Publication date |
October 1936 |
Pages |
291 pp |
ISBN |
1439167346 |
How to Win Friends and Influence People is one of the first bestselling self-help books ever published. Written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936, it has sold 15 million copies world-wide.[1]
Leon Shimkin of the publishing firm Simon & Schuster took one of the 14-week courses given by Carnegie in 1934. Shimkin persuaded Carnegie to let a stenographer take notes from the course to be revised for publication. In 1981, a new revised edition with updated language and anecdotes was released.[2] The revised edition reduced the number of sections from 6 to 4, eliminating sections on effective business letters and improving marital satisfaction.
- Get you out of a mental rut, give you new thoughts, new visions, new ambitions.
- Enable you to make friends quickly and easily.
- Increase your popularity.
- Help you to win people to your way of thinking.
- Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
- Enable you to win new clients, new customers.
- Increase your earning power.
- Make you a better salesman, a better executive.
- Help you to handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
- Make you a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
- Make the principles of psychology easy for you to apply in your daily contacts.
- Help you to arouse enthusiasm among your associates.
The book has six major sections. The core principles of each section are quoted below.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
- Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say "You're Wrong."
- If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise every improvement.
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.
Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
- In this chapter, notably the shortest in the book, Carnegie analyzes two letters and describes how to appeal to someone's vanity with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient of the request.
Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier
- Don't nag.
- Don't try to make your partner over.
- Don't criticize.
- Give honest appreciation.
- Pay little attentions.
- Be courteous.
- Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.
Pop Culture
- David Letterman used the phrase "How to Shoot Friends and Influence People" as number ten in his Top 10 list of "Chapter Titles in Dick Cheney's Memoir"[3]
- Bob Dylan humorously referenced the book's title in his song "Tombstone Blues" with the lyrics "With a fantastic collection of stamps/To win friends and influence his uncle."
- The Simon Pegg film How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is a titular parody of the book's title.
- Mentioned at the end of an Episode of the MTV show Daria entitled Gifted "Daria - (picks up Jodie's book) How to Win Friends and Influence People. Jodie - It's not bad. It's about all the things a good attitude can get you." [4]
- In an episode of Supernatural, the title is called "How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters".
- In the song "And U Do Know That" by MacShawn 100, he says, "Show them how to win friends and influence the people." He also claims that he lives a "Dale Carnegie" lifestyle.
- The title of the Broadway musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying is reminiscent of How to Win Friends and Influence People.
References
External links